Since it’s the month of love, I wanted to share a little bit of what I’ve learned about that four letter word! Love is the highest vibration, it is exciting and confusing. The most important thing I’ve learned about love is not to fear it. Fear cannot exist where there is love, and love cannot exist where there is fear.
In the past, I’ve experienced fear in relationships, fear of losing someone, and fear of being alone. I was scared of getting hurt, so I chose to stay stagnant in a place where I could never grow and learn. Now I’ve realized that it’s because I lacked love for myself, not to mention confidence and trust. That saying: “You can’t love others unless you learn to love yourself first”, is so true. I never realized how important it is to completely and totally love and accept yourself. I’m not saying that I’ve mastered the art of self love, it is a battle every day to fight the inner critic that wants me to be insecure. But when we become conscious of the inner critic, we become less hard ourselves. Love is patient, and this kind of work takes time!
When I realized that loving and accepting myself is crucial before committing to someone else, it forced me to think back on past relationships. I’m convinced that the reason why my past relationships didn’t work out is because we didn’t have love and respect for ourselves. So fear, jealousy, and insecurity took its place. When we place our need for love in the hands of someone else, we will never discover its truest potential. Everything that you need is already inside of you, in your heart. When you are complete in yourself and your heart is overflowing in love to give, you can thrive in a relationship with a partner. You will constantly be lifting each other up, instead of weighing each other down.
I used to have so many walls up around my heart, I was so scared of any kind of relationship. But after I learned that I could actually survive a broken heart, I wasn’t scared anymore. I broke down all my walls and I was no longer afraid of love. Heal and love unconditionally, and don’t be afraid to grow. When you open yourself up to love for all, you will inspire others to do the same.
Happy Valentine’s Day!
Shanna Counts 